59 Seconds_ Think A Little, Change A Lot Part 2

Even though the cola had not actually cost the stooge anything, it had a large impact on partic.i.p.ants' behavior, with those in the "I picked this bottle up for you" group buying twice as many raffle tickets as those who did not receive the cola.

Several other studies have also ill.u.s.trated how apparently spontaneous favors can elicit a powerful need to reciprocate. In one especially elegant and effective experiment, psychologist David Strohmetz and his colleagues arranged for waiters to hand customers their checks with or without candy, and examined the impact on tipping.34 In the control group, diners were unlucky enough to receive their checks without any sweets at all. A second group was given a single piece of candy with their bills. This simple gesture of kindness resulted in a measly 3 percent increase in tips compared to the control group. A third group received two sweets each and, again compared to the control group, gave 14 percent larger tips. Not bad. However, here comes the really clever part. In the fourth and final group, the waiters were asked to present the check to customers along with one piece of candy each, then, just as they were turning away from the table, reach into their pocket and quickly hand everyone a second piece. In terms of candy per customer, everyone ended up with exactly the same number of candies as those in the third group. But psychologically speaking, this was very, very different. The waiter had just done the customers an unnecessary and nice favor, and because of that, tips increased by an impressive 23 percent. In the control group, diners were unlucky enough to receive their checks without any sweets at all. A second group was given a single piece of candy with their bills. This simple gesture of kindness resulted in a measly 3 percent increase in tips compared to the control group. A third group received two sweets each and, again compared to the control group, gave 14 percent larger tips. Not bad. However, here comes the really clever part. In the fourth and final group, the waiters were asked to present the check to customers along with one piece of candy each, then, just as they were turning away from the table, reach into their pocket and quickly hand everyone a second piece. In terms of candy per customer, everyone ended up with exactly the same number of candies as those in the third group. But psychologically speaking, this was very, very different. The waiter had just done the customers an unnecessary and nice favor, and because of that, tips increased by an impressive 23 percent.

Why do these kinds of small favors produce such big results?

According to sociologists, there are only a handful of rules that are absolutely central to the well-being of any society. These rules have been found in almost every culture and help to ensure the smooth running of communal living. Perhaps the best known of these is "Don't kill other people simply for the fun of it," closely followed by "Try not to have s.e.x with members of your close family, or their pets." Even though a minority of people struggle to adhere to these rules, it is obvious why both of them help keep society together. There are, however, several other rules that operate at a more subconscious level but are nevertheless equally vital for group welfare. The notion of reciprocation is perhaps the most important of these.

In order to keep society in one piece, people have to work together and help one another. However, some people will always give more than they take, so how do you know whom to help and whom to ignore? A key part of making this complex decision involves a surprisingly simple rule of thumb: you help those who have helped you. In other words, I scratch your back and you scratch mine. That way, we both have our backs scratched and all is well with the world. If every occasion of reciprocation were this instant and equal, there would be very little room for the exploitation that fascinates those who study the psychology of persuasion. Thankfully, from a researcher's point of view, the real world of back-scratching is a little more complex. If I scratch your back, it says that I like and trust you and that I am a nice person deserving of your help when the time comes. These factors combine to create a potent force that often results in people giving me significantly more than they receive from me. In the art gallery experiment, the bottle of soda was free, but it nevertheless persuaded people to put their hands in their pockets and buy raffle tickets. In the restaurant experiment, the extra candy was worth a few pennies, but it caused people to leave a significantly larger tip.

We like people who help us, and we help people we like. However, for favors, it is surprising how little it takes for us to like a person and how much we give on the basis of so little. It seems that if you want to help yourself, you need to help others first.

IN 59 SECONDS.

A large body of research has shown that doing a favor for someone often results in their giving significantly more in return. So does that mean that all favors will result in especially giving and helpful behavior? Additional research has revealed that there are several subtle factors that influence when favors are most effective.

Favors have their strongest effect when they occur between people who don't know each other very well, and when they are small but thoughtful. When people go to a great deal of effort to help someone else, the recipient can often feel an uncomfortable pressure to reciprocate. In a sense, by giving too much at the beginning, one person places the other in a difficult position because the law of reciprocity states that the recipient has to give even more in return. Motivation is also important, as recipients can often experience a drop in self-esteem if they think they are being helped because they are believed not to have the ability to be successful by themselves35 or if they attribute the favor to an ulterior motive. or if they attribute the favor to an ulterior motive.36 So, for maximum persuasion, remember: save your favors for strangers, it really is the thought that counts, and the favor has to appear to come from the heart, not the head. So, for maximum persuasion, remember: save your favors for strangers, it really is the thought that counts, and the favor has to appear to come from the heart, not the head.

The degree of reciprocity may depend to some extent on cultural factors. In one study by Michael Morris and his colleagues at Columbia Business School, people from different countries were asked about the factors that influenced whether they would a.s.sist a colleague who asked for help.37 Americans were heavily influenced by the reciprocity rule ("Has this person helped me in the past?"), Germans were more concerned about whether their actions would be consistent with company rules, the Spanish were driven more by basic rules of friendship and liking, and the Chinese were swayed by the status of the coworker. Americans were heavily influenced by the reciprocity rule ("Has this person helped me in the past?"), Germans were more concerned about whether their actions would be consistent with company rules, the Spanish were driven more by basic rules of friendship and liking, and the Chinese were swayed by the status of the coworker.

Finally, if you want to get maximum return for your investment, ask for the return favor quickly. Francis Flynn from Stanford University surveyed employees in the customer-service department of a major U.S. airline, and found that favors have their greatest power immediately after they have been granted.38 It seems that if you leave it too long, people either forget what happened or convince themselves that they didn't really need the help in the first place. It seems that if you leave it too long, people either forget what happened or convince themselves that they didn't really need the help in the first place.

NEVER LOSE YOUR WALLET AGAIN.

A few weeks ago I lost my wallet. I panicked, then calmed down, then carefully retraced my steps and failed to find the wallet, then panicked again, then calmed down again, and finally set about canceling my credit cards. Unfortunately, I never saw my wallet again. However, on the upside, I now have a nice new wallet that is far superior to my old worn-out one. I am very eager that my new wallet and I don't permanently part company, so I wondered what I could put into my new wallet to maximize the chances of its being returned if lost.

It turns out that I am not the first person to think about what might encourage someone to return a lost wallet. In the late 1960s and early 1970s, researchers interested in the psychology of helping carried out several studies in which they secretly dropped wallets on busy streets and then monitored the return rates. Perhaps the most prolific of these wallet droppers was psychologist Harvey Hornstein from Columbia University.

Hornstein spent years systematically studying some of the factors that influence the return rates of wallets. In one study, for example, he examined whether people would be more likely to return a wallet if it elicited positive, rather than negative, feelings.39 Like many of Hornstein's studies, this experiment involved creating a rather unusual scenario giving the impression that the wallet had been lost not once but twice. According to this scenario, the original owner had lost his wallet, and then someone else had found it, attached a short note, and placed it in an envelope addressed to the original owner. However, on the way to the mailbox, the well-intentioned finder had inadvertently dropped the envelope on the street and thus lost the wallet a second time. Those who unknowingly took part in Hornstein's experiment came across an unsealed envelope containing a wallet with a note wrapped around it and had to decide whether to post the envelope back to the original owner. Half of the notes sounded very positive ("It has been a pleasure to help someone ... and really has been no problem at all"), while the others were far more negative ("I was quite annoyed at having to return it and hope you appreciate the effort I have gone through"). The difference in wording had a significant impact on people's behavior, with almost 40 percent of the wallets with positive notes being returned versus just 12 percent of those with negative notes. Like many of Hornstein's studies, this experiment involved creating a rather unusual scenario giving the impression that the wallet had been lost not once but twice. According to this scenario, the original owner had lost his wallet, and then someone else had found it, attached a short note, and placed it in an envelope addressed to the original owner. However, on the way to the mailbox, the well-intentioned finder had inadvertently dropped the envelope on the street and thus lost the wallet a second time. Those who unknowingly took part in Hornstein's experiment came across an unsealed envelope containing a wallet with a note wrapped around it and had to decide whether to post the envelope back to the original owner. Half of the notes sounded very positive ("It has been a pleasure to help someone ... and really has been no problem at all"), while the others were far more negative ("I was quite annoyed at having to return it and hope you appreciate the effort I have gone through"). The difference in wording had a significant impact on people's behavior, with almost 40 percent of the wallets with positive notes being returned versus just 12 percent of those with negative notes.

Although Hornstein's finding is interesting, I somehow couldn't see myself permanently wrapping a happy-sounding note around my wallet. Unfortunately, the same applies to much of the academic work into wallet dropping: although it is theoretically sound, it is not especially practical. Unperturbed, I canva.s.sed friends for more useful suggestions about what I might put inside my wallet. Among the ideas were photographs of a baby, a dog, or something that suggested the owner was a thoroughly nice person. To find out which idea was the most effective, I turned back time and conducted a Hornsteinesque study.

I bought 240 wallets and filled them with the same set of everyday items, including raffle tickets, discount vouchers, and fake membership cards. Next, one of four photographs was added to four batches of 40 wallets. The photographs depicted either a smiling baby, a cute puppy, a happy family, or a contented elderly couple. Another 40 wallets contained a card suggesting that the owner had recently made a contribution to charity, while the final batch of 40 acted as a control and contained no additional item. Each extra item was inserted behind a plastic window in each wallet, making it clearly visible when the wallet was opened. All of the wallets were then randomly ordered, and over a period of a couple of weeks were secretly dropped on the streets in areas of high pedestrian traffic but well away from mailboxes, trash containers, vomit, and dog feces.

Within a week 42 percent of the wallets were returned, and a clear pattern emerged. Of the wallets that made their way back, just 6 percent were from the control group, and 8 percent contained the charity card. The results from the wallets containing a photograph of the elderly couple, a cute puppy, or a happy-looking family were slightly more impressive, with return rates of 11 percent, 19 percent, and 21 percent, respectively. However, the winning wallets were those with the photograph of the smiling baby, taking first place with an impressive 35 percent return rate.

Why should the photograph of the baby have performed so well? The answer appears to lie deep within our evolutionary past. Brain-scanning scientists at Oxford University recently examined what was going on in people's heads when they were shown photographs of either baby or adult faces.40 Even though all of the photographs were matched for attractiveness, activity in the section of the brain directly behind the eyes (officially referred to as the "medial orbitofrontal cortex") kicked in within a seventh of a second after seeing the baby's face but not the adult's. The response happened too fast to be consciously controlled, and the part of the brain involved is a.s.sociated with people receiving a nice reward, such as a big bar of chocolate or a lottery win. Many scientists think that this "baby-awww" linkage has evolved over thousands of years and promotes the survival of future generations by making people feel good about, and therefore willing to help, vulnerable and defenseless infants. Other research suggests that this caring att.i.tude not only applies to a.s.sisting babies but also increases the likelihood of people helping anyone in need. In this view, partic.i.p.ants who opened the wallets containing the photograph of the baby couldn't keep their brains from automatically responding to the image of big eyes, broad forehead, and b.u.t.ton nose. Within a fraction of a second a deep-seated evolutionary mechanism caused them to rapidly get in touch with their inner parent, become happier and more caring, and thus be more likely to return the wallet. Even though all of the photographs were matched for attractiveness, activity in the section of the brain directly behind the eyes (officially referred to as the "medial orbitofrontal cortex") kicked in within a seventh of a second after seeing the baby's face but not the adult's. The response happened too fast to be consciously controlled, and the part of the brain involved is a.s.sociated with people receiving a nice reward, such as a big bar of chocolate or a lottery win. Many scientists think that this "baby-awww" linkage has evolved over thousands of years and promotes the survival of future generations by making people feel good about, and therefore willing to help, vulnerable and defenseless infants. Other research suggests that this caring att.i.tude not only applies to a.s.sisting babies but also increases the likelihood of people helping anyone in need. In this view, partic.i.p.ants who opened the wallets containing the photograph of the baby couldn't keep their brains from automatically responding to the image of big eyes, broad forehead, and b.u.t.ton nose. Within a fraction of a second a deep-seated evolutionary mechanism caused them to rapidly get in touch with their inner parent, become happier and more caring, and thus be more likely to return the wallet.

Whatever the explanation, the practical message is clear: if you want to up the chances of a lost wallet being returned, tuck in a photograph of the cutest, happiest baby you can find and make sure that it is prominently displayed.

motivation The dark side dark side of visualization, of visualization, how to achieve absolutely anything by creating the ideal plan ideal plan, overcoming procrastination, procrastination, and employing "doublethink" "doublethink"

THROUGHOUT THE PAST FORTY YEARS, a large number of books, audio products, and training courses have promised to help people look beyond the perils of instant gratification and achieve their long-term goals. From visualization to self-affirmation, from being focused to going with the flow, you pays your money and you takes your choice. There is just one small problem: several scientific studies suggest that many of these exercises don't work. Take, for example, the type of simple visualization exercise that I described at the start of this book. As you may remember, you were asked to close your eyes and imagine the new you-to think how great you would look in those close-fitting jeans, sitting in a huge office at the top of the corporate ladder, or sipping a c.o.c.ktail as you feel the warm Caribbean sand between your toes. This type of exercise has been promoted by the self-help industry for years, with claims that it can help people lose weight, stop smoking, find their perfect partner, and enjoy increased career success. Unfortunately, a large body of research now suggests that although such exercises might make you feel good, the technique is, at best, ineffective.

In one study, conducted by Lien Pham and Sh.e.l.ley Taylor at the University of California, a group of students was asked to spend a few moments each day visualizing themselves getting a high grade on an important midterm exam that would take place in a few days' time.1 They were asked to form a clear image in their mind's eye and imagine how great it would feel to make a high grade. The study also involved a control group of students, who went about their business as usual and were not asked to visualize doing especially well on the exams. The experimenters asked the students in both groups to make a note of the number of hours they studied each day, and monitored their final grades. Even though the daydreaming exercise lasted only a few minutes, it had a significant impact on the students' behavior, causing them to study less and make lower grades on the exam. The exercise may have made them feel better about themselves, but it did not help them achieve their goals. They were asked to form a clear image in their mind's eye and imagine how great it would feel to make a high grade. The study also involved a control group of students, who went about their business as usual and were not asked to visualize doing especially well on the exams. The experimenters asked the students in both groups to make a note of the number of hours they studied each day, and monitored their final grades. Even though the daydreaming exercise lasted only a few minutes, it had a significant impact on the students' behavior, causing them to study less and make lower grades on the exam. The exercise may have made them feel better about themselves, but it did not help them achieve their goals.

In another experiment, Gabriele Oettingen and Thomas Wadden, at the University of Pennsylvania, followed a group of obese women taking part in a weight-reduction program.2 During the work, the women were asked to imagine how they might behave in various food-related scenarios, such as going to a friend's house and being tempted with tasty pizza. Each of their responses was categorized on a scale ranging from highly positive (with, for example, someone stating, "I would be a good person and stay well away from the cakes and ice cream") to highly negative ("I would be straight in there, consuming both my own and other people's portions"). After the women were tracked for a year, the results revealed that those with more positive fantasies had lost, on average, twenty-six pounds less than those with negative fantasies. During the work, the women were asked to imagine how they might behave in various food-related scenarios, such as going to a friend's house and being tempted with tasty pizza. Each of their responses was categorized on a scale ranging from highly positive (with, for example, someone stating, "I would be a good person and stay well away from the cakes and ice cream") to highly negative ("I would be straight in there, consuming both my own and other people's portions"). After the women were tracked for a year, the results revealed that those with more positive fantasies had lost, on average, twenty-six pounds less than those with negative fantasies.

Oettingen's work has also shown that the same effects happen in many different situations.3 In yet another study, she worked with a group of students who admitted to having a serious but secret crush on a cla.s.smate. She asked them to imagine what would happen in various scenarios, such as arriving early for cla.s.s, sitting down, then seeing the door open and the apple of their eye enter. Once again, the degree of fantasizing was rated, this time varying between those who seemed to live in a world that would make even the most ardent reader of Harlequin romances blush ("Our eyes meet, and we both know that this is the type of love that happens only once in a lifetime") to more negative scenarios ("We are both free and single. He turns to me, smiles, and asks how I am. For some reason that I still do not fully understand, I explain that I already have a boyfriend"). Five months later, the results revealed that those with positive fantasies were less likely than others to have told the desirable cla.s.smate about their crush or made any other overture toward having a relationship with them. In yet another study, she worked with a group of students who admitted to having a serious but secret crush on a cla.s.smate. She asked them to imagine what would happen in various scenarios, such as arriving early for cla.s.s, sitting down, then seeing the door open and the apple of their eye enter. Once again, the degree of fantasizing was rated, this time varying between those who seemed to live in a world that would make even the most ardent reader of Harlequin romances blush ("Our eyes meet, and we both know that this is the type of love that happens only once in a lifetime") to more negative scenarios ("We are both free and single. He turns to me, smiles, and asks how I am. For some reason that I still do not fully understand, I explain that I already have a boyfriend"). Five months later, the results revealed that those with positive fantasies were less likely than others to have told the desirable cla.s.smate about their crush or made any other overture toward having a relationship with them.

Exactly the same effect applies to career success. Oettingen asked her senior students to note how often they fantasized about getting their dream job after graduating from college. A two-year follow-up revealed that the students who had reported frequently fantasizing about success had submitted fewer job applications, received a lower number of job offers, and commanded significantly smaller salaries than their cla.s.smates.

Why should it be so bad for you to imagine yourself achieving your goals? Researchers have speculated that those who fantasize about how wonderful life could be are ill prepared for the setbacks that frequently occur along the rocky road to success, or perhaps they enjoy indulging in escapism and so become reluctant to put in the effort required to achieve their goals. Either way, the message from the research is clear: fantasizing about your perfect world may make you feel better, but it is unlikely to help you transform your dreams into reality.

Fortunately, as this chapter will demonstrate, the results from other research into motivation are not all doom and gloom. A large amount of work has revealed that some techniques do help create permanent and positive changes in people's lives. From weight loss to quitting smoking, changing careers to finding your perfect partner, there are quick and painless techniques that can provide real help. It's all about having the perfect plan, knowing how to beat procrastination, and employing a rather strange form of doublethink.

CREATING THE PERFECT PLAN.

Think back to when you have attempted to achieve an important goal or ambition. Perhaps losing some weight, getting a new job, studying for an exam, or preparing for a key interview. What sorts of techniques did you use? Read each of the following statements and then decide whether you tend to use the technique described. Don't spend too long thinking about each statement, and answer as honestly as possible.

When attempting to change an important aspect of my life, I tend to ... Now you need to create two scores. Create Score A by awarding yourself 1 point for each "Yes" answer to questions 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. Next, create Score B by giving yourself 1 point for each "No" answer to questions 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10. Disregard all other answers. Finally, add Score A and Score B to obtain a number between 0 and 10.

YES YES.

NO NO.

1 make a step-by-step plan. make a step-by-step plan.

2 motivate myself by focusing on someone that I admire for achieving so much (e.g., a celebrity role model or great leader). motivate myself by focusing on someone that I admire for achieving so much (e.g., a celebrity role model or great leader).

3 tell other people about my goal. tell other people about my goal.

4 think about the bad things that will happen if I don't achieve my goal. think about the bad things that will happen if I don't achieve my goal.

5 think about the good things that will happen if I achieve my goal. think about the good things that will happen if I achieve my goal.

6 try to suppress unhelpful thoughts (e.g., avoid thinking about eating unhealthy food or smoking). try to suppress unhelpful thoughts (e.g., avoid thinking about eating unhealthy food or smoking).

7 reward myself for making progress toward my goal. reward myself for making progress toward my goal.

8 rely on willpower. rely on willpower.

9 record my progress (e.g., in a journal or on a chart). record my progress (e.g., in a journal or on a chart).

10 fantasize about how great my life will be when I achieve my goal. fantasize about how great my life will be when I achieve my goal.

A few years ago I conducted two large-scale scientific studies on the psychology of motivation. The project involved tracking more than five thousand partic.i.p.ants from around the world who were attempting to achieve a wide range of aims and ambitions, including losing weight, gaining new qualifications, starting a new relationship, quitting smoking, embarking on a new career, and being more environmentally friendly. One group was followed for six months, the other for one year. At the beginning of the project, the vast majority of partic.i.p.ants was confident of doing well. At the end of their allotted time period, everyone was asked to describe the techniques that they had used to try to achieve their goals and to report their level of success. Only about 10 percent reported that they had successfully achieved their aims and ambitions. The questionnaire above contains the ten techniques that partic.i.p.ants used most frequently. Some sound like good common sense, and others frequently appear in self-help books and training courses. However, although the techniques may appear credible, according to our data, only half of them significantly increase your chances of being successful, while the other half are ineffective. The question is, which are which?

In our experiment, partic.i.p.ants who endorsed the even-numbered items in the questionnaire were unlikely to achieve their goals. So, for example, those who adopted a celebrity role model, perhaps putting a picture of Cindy Crawford or Bill Gates on their refrigerator door, did not usually drop that all-important clothing size or achieve their business ambitions. Similarly, those relying on willpower, using thought suppression to erase images of cream cakes and chocolate sundaes from their mind, focusing on the bad things that would happen if they didn't achieve their goals, or spending their time daydreaming were also wasting their time. All of these techniques const.i.tute yet more striking examples of the types of motivational myths that prevent people from taking control of their lives.

A different story emerged when we examined the data from the people using the techniques that have an odd number in the questionnaire. Each of these five tools significantly increased the likelihood that people would successfully achieve their aims. Let's look at each in turn.

First, the successful partic.i.p.ants in our study had a plan. Author Zig Ziglar once famously remarked that people don't tend to wander around and then suddenly find themselves at the top of Mount Everest. Likewise, those moving aimlessly through life are unlikely to end up suddenly starting a new business or losing a significant amount of weight. Successful partic.i.p.ants broke their overall goal into a series of sub-goals and thereby created a step-by-step process that helped remove the fear and hesitation often a.s.sociated with trying to achieve a major life change. These plans were especially powerful when the sub-goals were concrete, measurable, and time-based. Whereas successful and unsuccessful partic.i.p.ants might have stated that their aim was to find a new job, it was the successful people who quickly went on to describe how they intended to rewrite their resume in week one and then apply for one new job every two weeks for the next six months. Similarly, although many people said that they aimed to enjoy life more, it was the successful ones who explained how they intended to spend two evenings each week with friends and visit one new country each year.

Second, successful partic.i.p.ants were far more likely than others to tell their friends, family, and colleagues about their goals. It seems that although keeping your promises to yourself helps ease the fear of failure, it also makes it too easy to avoid changing your life and to drift back to old habits and routines. This is in keeping with several key findings from the psychology literature ill.u.s.trating that people are more likely to stick to their views and promises if they go public. In one cla.s.sic experiment, students were asked to estimate the length of some lines that had been drawn on a pad and either make a public commitment to their judgments (by writing them on a slip of paper, signing the paper, and handing it to the experimenter) or keep the estimates to themselves.4 When the partic.i.p.ants were informed that their estimates might be wrong, those who had made a public commitment were far more likely to stand by their opinion than those who had not told anyone. Other work suggests that the greater the public declaration, the more motivated people are to achieve their goals. When the partic.i.p.ants were informed that their estimates might be wrong, those who had made a public commitment were far more likely to stand by their opinion than those who had not told anyone. Other work suggests that the greater the public declaration, the more motivated people are to achieve their goals.5 Telling others about your aims also helps you achieve them, in part because friends and family often provide much-needed support when the going gets tough. In fact, some research suggests that having friends at your side makes life seem easier. In a series of studies carried out by Simone Schnall from the University of Plymouth, people were taken to the bottom of a hill and asked to estimate how steep it was and therefore how difficult it would be to climb. Telling others about your aims also helps you achieve them, in part because friends and family often provide much-needed support when the going gets tough. In fact, some research suggests that having friends at your side makes life seem easier. In a series of studies carried out by Simone Schnall from the University of Plymouth, people were taken to the bottom of a hill and asked to estimate how steep it was and therefore how difficult it would be to climb.6 When they were accompanied by a friend, their estimates were about 15 percent lower than when they were on their own, and even just thinking about a friend when looking at the hill made it seem far more surmountable. When they were accompanied by a friend, their estimates were about 15 percent lower than when they were on their own, and even just thinking about a friend when looking at the hill made it seem far more surmountable.

Third, those who ended up making and maintaining permanent changes in their lives frequently tended to remind themselves of the benefits a.s.sociated with achieving their goals. It wasn't a case of imagining their perfect selves but rather of having an objective checklist of how life would be better once they achieved their aim. In contrast, unsuccessful partic.i.p.ants tended to focus on how failure to change would result in having to endure the negative aspects of their current situation. For example, when asked to list the benefits of getting a new job, successful partic.i.p.ants might reflect on finding more fulfilling and better-paid employment, whereas their unsuccessful counterparts might focus on a failure leaving them trapped and unhappy. When looking at weight loss, successful partic.i.p.ants might remark on how good they will look and feel when they drop a dress size, whereas unsuccessful partic.i.p.ants might talk about how not losing weight will mean continued unhappiness about their appearance. While the former technique encourages partic.i.p.ants to look forward to a more positive future, the latter demotivates by fixating on unsatisfactory events and experiences.

Fourth, there was the issue of reward. As part of their planning, successful partic.i.p.ants ensured that each of their sub-goals had a reward attached to it. Often it was something small, and it never conflicted with the major goal itself (no going on a binge of chocolate bars to celebrate a week of healthy eating), but nevertheless it gave them something to look forward to and provided a sense of achievement.

Finally, successful partic.i.p.ants also tended to make their plans, progress, benefits, and rewards as concrete as possible by expressing them in writing. Many people kept a handwritten journal, some used a computer, and a few even covered their fridge or bulletin board with graphs or pictures. Either way, the act of writing, typing, or drawing significantly boosted their chances of success.

IN 59 SECONDS.

To achieve your aims and ambitions, there are four key techniques that will help you succeed: having the right kind of plan, telling your friends and family, focusing on the benefits, and rewarding yourself each step of the way. To help you incorporate these techniques into your life, I have created a unique motivational journal that can be used when you are attempting any form of change.

1. What is your overall goal?

My overall goal is to ...

2. Creating a step-by-step plan Break your overall goal into a maximum of five smaller steps. Each step should be a.s.sociated with a goal that is concrete, measurable, realistic, and time-based. Think about how you will achieve each step and the reward that you will give yourself when you do. The rewards can be anything you like, perhaps ice cream, new shoes or clothes, the latest high-tech gadget, a book, dinner out, or a ma.s.sage. For each of the five sub-goals, complete the following statements in writing.

STEP 1.

My first sub-goal is to...

I believe that I can achieve this goal because ...

To achieve this sub-goal, I will ...

This will be achieved by the following date: My reward for achieving this will be ...

STEP 2.

My second sub-goal is to ...

I believe that I can achieve this goal because ...

To achieve this sub-goal, I will ...

This will be achieved by the following date: My reward for achieving this will be ...

STEP 3.

My third sub-goal is to ...

I believe that I can achieve this goal because ...

To achieve this sub-goal, I will ...

This will be achieved by the following date: My reward for achieving this will be ...

STEP 4.

My fourth sub-goal is to ...

I believe that I can achieve this goal because ...

To achieve this sub-goal, I will ...

This will be achieved by the following date: My reward for achieving this will be ...

STEP 5.

My fifth sub-goal is to ...

I believe that I can achieve this goal because ...

To achieve this sub-goal, I will ...

This will be achieved by the following date: My reward for achieving this will be ...

3. What are the benefits of achieving your overall goal?

List three important benefits, focusing on how much better life will be for you and those around you. Focus on enjoying the benefits a.s.sociated with your desired future rather than escaping the negative aspects of your current situation.