16 Things I Thought were True Part 34

"You make me want to be a better person," he says softly. "To deserve you. I want you to know how right you feel to me."

I swear the birds in our neighborhood sing brighter. His lips are perfect. Soft. Warm. Thrills run through me. All over me. I could stay like this forever. Freeze time. Stand in front of my house and kiss Adam for the rest of my days.

"Keys," he demands. I stumble, still connected to his lips, trying to rummage inside my purse to find the keys. I concentrate on his fingers stroking my back. I'm incapable of thinking straight, but my fingers locate the keys and I hand them over. We step apart and he unlocks the front door and holds it open and we both step inside the front foyer. The lights are off and it's dim, and he pulls me by the waist until I'm pressed up against him, and I drop my purse, slip off my shoes, and he steps out of his.

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1 6 t h i n g s i t h o u g h t w e r e t r u e We walk into the living room, not speaking as we move to the couch. We kiss and my head rides through wave after dizzy wave.

A throat clears.

"Um, Morgan?" says a squeaky voice.

We both snap our heads up.

"Oh my G.o.d. Amy?" It's the equivalent of a cold shower. I sit up and move away from Adam. He coughs and sits up too. Amy's on the couch opposite ours, pulling on her shirtsleeves and looking at the floor.

She gets to her feet. "I'm totally sorry. I tried to get your attention but you were kind of busy." Her face is scrunched up and her chin is quivering and she rubs at her forehead.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I wanted to talk to you." She glances at Adam, and her bottom lip quivers even more. "I've been texting and tweeting, but you haven't answered."

"I'm so sorry- I didn't have my phone." I can scarcely even believe the words I'm saying. When have I ever gone so long with- out my phone?

"When I came by to see you, Jake was here. He told me you two went out but that you wouldn't be long, and I could come in and wait. I guess I fell asleep. When I woke up, you two were all..." She sniffles and hiccups another sob. "I'm sorry. I'll go."

She's shaking and obviously upset as she hobbles toward the door.

I stand and go to her side, taking her arm. "Amy? What's wrong?"

"Amy," Adam says. "It's okay. We can all talk."

"No," she says, fluttering her hands around and then stopping 235.

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J a n e t G u r t l e r in the front hall to slip on pink Uggs with a sparkly design of Miss Kitty on the side. "I wanted to talk to Morgan. No offense." She runs out the front door. I watch as she hurries down the walk, wondering how Adam and I missed the yellow Mazda parked down the street.

Something is wrong. I glance at Adam and then run out after her in my bare feet. I catch her pretty easily and grab her by the arm.

"Amy," I say. "Please. Something's obviously bugging you. Come and talk."

She folds against me. "Would you ever lie to me?" she asks me.

My breath catches. After all this time, has she found out what I've been hiding? About the video? My part in it? "Not about anything that I thought was really important. Why?" I ask.

"Well, I mean. I think of what your mom did, and how you'll have to find some way to forgive her. And that's not fair...for you to find out that I did too? That I left something out. Something important. That's kind of like a lie of omission?"

I open my mouth. My cheeks warm. She doesn't know the truth about the video. The truth I've been hiding from everyone. This isn't about me. I lead her back inside.

"I want you to know the truth about me," she says.

I take a deep breath. "Okay. Okay." Adam's standing in the middle of the living room. He stares at us as we walk to the couch.

Amy sits first and her shoulders slouch over. I sit beside her and put an arm around her shoulder. She's so tiny.

"Do you want me to go?" Adam asks. "So you two can talk alone?"

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1 6 t h i n g s i t h o u g h t w e r e t r u e Amy looks up and stares at him, long and hard. "Are we friends?"

she asks him.

He nods.

"I mean real friends?"

"Of course." Adam nods solemnly.

"If you and Morgan fight or break up, I'm taking her side," she tells him, lifting her chin.

I duck my head to hide my smile.

"Deal," he says. "But we can still like each other in secret." He winks at her.

"You can stay," she says to Adam. She takes a deep breath and sits up taller on the couch. "I have an appointment tomorrow. With my oncologist."

The phone rings, but I don't even look at it.

"I've been in a holding pattern. It was a good run."

Adam and I glance at each other. My face flushes. The hair on my arms stands on end. I turn back to Amy, frowning. The phone rings again.

"I'm pretty sure my cancer is back," she says slowly.

Things happen for a reason, I hear my mom say. I close my eyes.

"No," I say. "No."

She pats my hand. My breath is gone. I can't breathe. I open my eyes and stare at her face. "You're going to be fine," I tell her.

"You're going to be fine."

There's a slight twist to her mouth and her eyes are sad. "I've had a feeling for a while. I just kind of know. My dreams." She pauses.

"I know. And it's okay, Morgan. It's okay."

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J a n e t G u r t l e r "d.a.m.n," Adam mutters, and he sits on her other side and pulls her in for a hug. She tolerates it for a moment and then wiggles away. The answering machine picks up the phone.

"The stats aren't on my side this time," she says.

"Screw statistics," Adam and I yell.

The words hang in the air and then Amy starts to giggle. She holds her stomach and giggles on and on. Adam and I watch her without joining in. Finally she calms down and turns to me. "I came to tell you. And I wanted to ask- if you don't mind, if you're not busy tomorrow- will you come with me? To the doctor?" she asks.

"Of course," I tell her, my heart swelling with love and worry.

"Of course."

"Do you work?" She looks at Adam. "I think I'm going to have to book time off from work."

"You're in good with the boss," he says.

"I'm not working," I tell her. "I'll be there."

She smiles. "It's not for me," she tells me. "I want you to be there for my parents."

I reach for her hand. "I would be honored."

"I'm sorry I never told you before."

"I'm glad you did now," I tell her.

I'm terrified.

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chapter twenty- two.

15. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

#thingsIthoughtweretrue I t's been raining for four days in a row. My hair is a frizzy mess.

I'm 308 away from reaching five thousand followers, but it's Amy who's watching closely now. She's actually getting close to me in followers, but she wants me to get to it first.

I can't believe we go back to school in two weeks, but the good news is that Amy's dad is going to let her transfer to our high school.

Once she's feeling better. Meanwhile, she's been seeing different doctors all week. Scans, blood work, and a ton of other tests I don't understand. Her dad and mom are there for all of it. They've done this before. They're way too familiar with the doctors and tests. I've joined them a few times, taking time off work to go with her. Today Adam picked me up, so we could both visit her. She's in the hospital.

A different one from my mom, but the same smells, same uniforms, same cl.u.s.ters of people and patients wandering around dazed.

Amy is lying on a bed in her private room and has surgery sched- uled for the next day. With her tiny frame and her hair cut short, she really does look about twelve years old now. We walk inside her room sixteenthings.indd 239 9/9/13 2:21 PM.

J a n e t G u r t l e r and a man is standing with his back to the door- Amy's dad. He turns and smiles. I notice again how his teeth are extra white. Bought and paid for. He can afford luxuries. Unfortunately, other than privacy, there's not a lot money can buy when it comes to cancer.

"Look, Amy. Morgan's here." The grat.i.tude in his eyes humbles me.

"Of course. And Adam too," I say. Adam politely shakes Amy's dad's hand.

"The infamous road- trip crew," he says and smiles. "It's all this one has been talking about the past week, how much fun she had."

He reaches down, and the way he touches Amy's forehead so gently swells up an urge to cry in my chest.

"I should take a moment while you have company to go get a coffee. You want anything, Amy?" he says.

"Maybe some water? I'm so thirsty I think I could drink the Pacific Ocean with a straw."

"Probably not a good idea, Amy bear." He touches my shoulder when he pa.s.ses by me to leave the room. "I'll get you some ice chips,"

he says and I smile after him. We've had a couple of chances to talk.

"Where's your mom?" I ask Amy.

"She was here. She had to go to a meeting. She's coming back.

How many followers you at, Morgan?"

I tell her the number and she squeals. "You are totally going to make five thousand this week!" she squeals. She's definitely obsessed. I don't want to talk about that though. I move closer to her bed where Adam's standing, looking down on her. "So they finally managed to get you here," Adam says.

"I'm a friggin' pin cushion. They're staging me," she tells him.

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1 6 t h i n g s i t h o u g h t w e r e t r u e I don't know exactly what they mean but don't ask. They talk in medical speak, and I walk over to the window and open the navy curtains. At least she has a better view than my mom's room. I scrunch up my nose, not wanting to think about my mom's heart.

I prefer to think she doesn't have one.