The Complicated Diary Of A Stepbrother - novelonlinefull.com
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Haaah~ while I was translating this, my heart became warm and fuzzy and sad. Let’s change the mood by translating the MaguToro chapter. Now that Amane and Soutarou had become a family, next set of chapters will describe the changes of Soutarou’s heart.
I couldn't find the print out that I had thrown away, and it became the day of the cla.s.s visit without my mother knowing its existence.
If I was a fifth grader, I thought the number of parents that partic.i.p.ating in the cla.s.s visit would decrease, but parents who were coming into the cla.s.sroom were more than I thought.
"Parents' day is so bothersome, right~"
Hayashi who was sitting in the seat next to me started a conversation with me.
"Not really. In my case, my parents won't come."
"Is that so? How nice~ Mine said that they didn't have anything important to do, so they took time off from work. Even though it's okay if they didn't come."
The words spoken by Hayashi pierced my chest.
When I looked at Hayashi's face who was distorted as if it was a bother, surely, this blockhead had a close bond with his family.
While imagining what kind of feelings would be felt by a family like that, suddenly, my sister's heartily laughing face emerged.
—Wrong. That girl, she is not my family.
I blocked that image out of my mind and got ready for the cla.s.s visit where no one came.
When the chime at the end of the cla.s.s rang, there were many people who remained in the homeroom.
Parents who came to visit seemed to have a social gathering after the cla.s.s visit.
I finished my homeroom and started to prepare to go home.
I usually went home while chatting with my cla.s.smates, but today's topic seemed to be centered on the parents' cla.s.s visit.
I didn't want to go into such topic like who my parents were, so I walked quite far away from the end of the group who was walking out of school.
I looked at the appearance of my cla.s.smates who idly talk happily from a distance.
I disliked the parents' day after all.
I didn't know why, it made me feel miserable somehow.
While trying to remember my parents' affection, the one that came up into my mind was the appearance of my father who went out of the house.
I didn't want to feel the festive atmosphere, so I slowed down a little.
As my pace slowed down, the distance with my cla.s.smates naturally became farther.
I don't need a family.
I told myself that repeatedly, but I was aware that was only a bluff.
That's why I didn't like the parents' day so much.
I heard a voice that I knew from behind me, and I stopped walking in surprise.
When I turned around, my older sister who was wearing her junior high school uniform was standing there.
"Geh, what are you doing here?"
I was surprised and raised a weird voice involuntarily.
This road was a school road towards the elementary school, and it was a little far away from the junior high school this girl was attending.
In the first place, this girl rarely came back home during this time.
She should be in the family house. What about the club activities?
"I'm going home from school, too."
"This is not your school's route."
When I pointed it out, she laughed lightly to gloss it over.
I didn't understand the reason. Why was this girl in this place?
"Today, was it a cla.s.s visit?"
I unintentionally stopped breathing as she guessed it right.
The print out of the cla.s.s visit was supposed to have been disposed in the trash can.
"How do you know it."
"Since the print was thrown away, I saw it."
She told me that as if it was nothing.
When imagining how she picked it up and read the print out, an unpleasant feeling rose and my face became distorted.
"Don't look at it as you please."
"Then don't throw it away where anyone can see."
—As this person said, it might have been a bad idea to throw it away in the litter thrash can.
From now on, I would tear the prints that I didn't want anyone to see into little pieces before throwing them in the thrash can in my room.
"About the cla.s.s visit, does mother……"
I asked after hesitating for a bit.
I didn't want mother to know that there was a cla.s.s visit.
Knowing her, she would try to take a day off from work. -But she was busy and she couldn't rest.
Then, she would apologize to me with an apologetic face.
I grasped my tightened fist.
However, the reply from my sister was surprising.
"I haven't told her, I threw away the print so it couldn't be seen."
It wasn't known to my mother.
I was a little relieved about that, but I was doubtful.
Normally, if a print about announcement like that was thrown away, wouldn't you try to show it to your parents to make them pay attention to it?
"—Why did you keep your silence?"
"Because I was doing the same thing. When I was in elementary school."
I saw my sister's face laughing carelessly, and my feet stopped involuntarily.
Reflexively, such word came out of my mouth.
But, I didn't know why I didn't realize this.
Her father was also the same as my mother. He was a workaholic.
"Perhaps it is the same reason as Soutarou-kun, because my father was also a busy man."
Even though her eyes were full of loneliness, she was telling me like it was nothing.
That house was much bigger than the apartment where I lived.
This person who was laughing without a care had always been alone in that big house.
Why didn't I notice?
This person was the same as me. Waiting for a parent that didn't return, eating dinner alone.
Why could this person laugh without a care like this?
Could genuinely accept her parent's remarriage?
"Why, are you fine with this?"
I grasped my fist tightly and looked up at her.
"What do you mean?"
"With the increase of family members."
I endured because I was thinking about my mother's happiness.
But I was actually disgusted.
"It is good for my mother to be with someone she likes. But, I don't like that my family will increase."
Divorce and remarriage were the intention of my mother.
I couldn't choose my family by myself. Just accept what had happened.
"Why can you accept it? It seems that you saw me as a younger brother? But I am a person who was a complete stranger until just now."
I was annoyed when I saw this person.
Why could she accept new family members so obediently?
Why could she laugh when she was supposed to be in the same position as me?
"Does Soutarou-kun dislike me or my father?"
When she asked that, I thought about it.
I still didn't understand my new father. However, I didn't think he was a bad person.
As my mother had said, he was a serious and diligent person. I thought that he was quite different from my previous father.
And - I didn't dislike this person.
I was irritated when I saw her, but it was only due to my resistance towards this whole situation, I didn't dislike her.
"I don't think both uncle—father and you are bad people, you guys are leagues better compared to my previous father, but that's not the problem."
I spilled my complex thoughts.
In my heart, I felt dark pent-up feelings had acc.u.mulated.
It might be because I wanted someone to ask me that question.
I told this person about my life.
When my mother and father got divorced.
How my father didn't a.s.sert for my custody, and after they got divorced I lost all contact with him.
About how my dad's back when he left the apartment had been stuck in my mind all the time.
–I was thrown away by my father.
Even though our blood was connected. Until then, we were living together as a family.
In just one moment, such a thing like a family was broken easily.
"It is impossible to have absolute affection even when the blood was connected. That was true for my real parents. So, how could I think that someone else can love other people's children? I'm scared, that's why, it's better not to expect anything from the beginning."
Once again, built a family and expect something from it - then what should I do if it got broken?
Would I feel the same feeling as that time, again?
I absolutely hated such a thing.
"Even my father didn't want to become my father just because he liked my mother. I was merely my mother's accessory. I knew that, that's why I didn't want a family."
Father and this person, I knew that both of them didn't want to become my family.
It was only because I happened to be my mother's son, that we lived together.
A relationship that was more fragile than the relationship with my blood-related parent.
To such an uncertain thing, why would I expect anything?
"So that's why, you don't have to keep looking after me. Don't worry because I won't bother you. I know that you are fed up about me. Because I won't rebel before I could stand alone."
This person, I knew that she really was a good person.
That was why I didn't want to keep looking after a guy like me.
I was fine with being alone.
If I froze my heart, surely, the feelings of loneliness wouldn't be felt.
So, I wanted you to leave me alone. I didn't want to raise my expectation.
I didn't want to remember how much I wanted a family.
When I felt that the conversation was over, I turned my back on her.
But this person—this older sister didn't leave me alone.
Shock ran through my spine. Thin, unreliable, but warm arms surrounded my body.
From behind my school bag, she hugged me.
"Whoa, wait, what are you doing!!"
I panicked at her odd behaviour.
Although I struggled, her hug was unexpectedly strong and she didn't release me.
"It was my choice!"
My eyebrows rose at her shouting words I didn't understand.
"Not only because my dad got married, or because you are Yoshino-san's son, but because Soutarou-kun is Soutarou-kun, I think I want to be an older sister. Is it not good!?"
While hugging me from behind, she shouted such words.
"Wha……what are you saying!"
—Really, I didn't understand.
It was her choice.
Because I was me, she wanted to become an older sister?
"I, I have been lonely forever. My dad was hardly at home due to his works and I've been alone for a long time. That's why I was very happy to hear that my family had increased. I thought that I would like to do plenty family-like things together."
Her painful voice was reaching my chest.
I was sad too. I had been lonely forever.
But I was - I was timid. Like this guy, even though I didn't seem like it, I actually wanted a family.
"At first, I thought that anyone can do as long as my family increased. But, now I think that it was good that Soutarou-kun was the one who came to us."
"Why is that. I, I always ignored you."
Why could you say something like you want me as your brother?
This month, I had been doing terrible things against this person.
If I were this person, I definitely wouldn't want a brother like me. —But still.
"But, I knew that Soutarou-kun is a good child. You would eat all the meals that I made, without ever leaving sc.r.a.ps."
"That, isn't that normal?"
"It's not normal. 'Cause I've always eaten it all by myself until now."
Every time this person made dinners, I had never said 'Itadakimasu' or 'Thank you for the meal.'
I had never complimented that it was delicious.
I just ate it silently.
Still, she was smiling all the time, watching me eating happily.
I always thought, What the heck did she find so fun. Why could you laugh?
I also thought that she was trying to curry favour with me when she was making that carefree smiling face.
—I was wrong.
I was sitting there and dining in the same s.p.a.ce.
Just that, but surely it was a pleasure for this person.
"I want to become a family with Soutarou-kun. Not for my dad or mother, be my brother for me!"
To the words that I had been wanting to hear, I was about to cry.
I had been wanting for a family like this, nothing more.
Truly, she was an irritating person.
Even today, she went all the way here because she knew today was the day of my cla.s.s visit.
Because it was her younger brother's cla.s.s visit, she rushed here as soon as the school ends.
The cla.s.s visit had already ended a long time ago, so Nee-chan shouldn't bother to come to the cla.s.s visit.
(Mine said that they didn't have anything important to do, so they took time off from work. Even though it's okay if they didn't come.)
I remembered the words of Hayashi who was talking to me as if troubled.
Aah, I see.
Like this, family might be annoying and troublesome.
"I don't understand your reason. —How you could say such a shameful speech."
"You don't need to understand my reason! Anyway, I want to become Soutarou-kun's older sister!"
"Aah, okay, I understand! I understand already so don't shout! It's embarra.s.sing!"
I sighed heavily, trying to shake and untangle my dejected older sister.
Maybe she thought that she was rejected, my sister's eyebrows were lowered sadly.
—She was truly an annoying person.
"I understand, alright? Here, it's a school's street, it would be embarra.s.sing if we were seen by the school's people!"
When I pointed out that we could be seen by our surroundings, my older sister apologized with a relieved face.
Looking at my sister whose shoulders were dropped in relief, I let out a wry smile reflexively.
I guessed she was the only person in this world that wanted to make such a twisted c.o.c.ky brat like me as her brother.
It was no use.
Since this annoying Nee-chan had said something like that, I would have to give in.
"……Geez, you're really foolish, you know that? Let's hurry and return home, Nee-chan!"
I called this person Nee-chan for the first time, I felt embarra.s.sed so I turned forward and started walking.
There was an indication that she raised her face behind me.
I ignored her and quicken my pace. Nee-chan chased me in a panic.
With this person, I could make a proper family.
Sure she was irritating and stupid — but, she was warm. I could get used to a family like that.
Such feelings occupied my heart.