The California Roll Part 11

"But I think we can get you unstuck."

He looked up, a glimmer of hope shining in his black eyes. "How?"

How, indeed? Against honest cops, I'd have been in a much dicier spot, but all the deception and extravagant ill-truth floating around made for ample wiggle room here. So I told Vic about Scovil's and Hines's crossed purposes and hoped he'd see the benefit of defecting to Team Hoverlander. "We can't protect ourselves," I said, "but we might could protect each other."

Vic's brow furrowed as his brain worked at max amps. "We're in the whaddyacallit," he said at last, "that prisoner's thingie." I knew what he was groping for: the Prisoner's Dilemma, the cla.s.sic game-theory problem where two crooks will prosper if they cooperate, but each can rationally (though mistakenly) conclude that they'll do better by betraying the other. "If we screw each other, we're both screwed, right?"

I'd heard many more sophisticated a.n.a.lyses of the dilemma, but never one more trenchant. I said, "Vic, how did you get mixed up with these dillweeds in the first place?"

He took a beat before answering. I could see he was weighing his commitment to the prisoner's whaddyacallit. At last he let go, and his story came spilling out. "So last March," he said, "this wedge comes to see me. Says he's got some off-license credit cards going moldy in Louisiana. Tried to move 'em during Mardi Gras, didn't work out. But if I go mule 'em back, he'll deal me in for a nice chunk of change. So I make the New Orleans turnaround, and when I land back at LAX, they've got, like, the whole Seventh Cavalry waiting to drop my noggin." I did a quick reductive adjustment to the Mirplovian math: If he said it was the Seventh Cavalry, it was probably one overweight Jake and a crippled crime dog. "Next thing I know, I'm in some FBI lockup at the airport, and Hines is there, telling me what a world of hurt I'm in."

"You crossed state lines with counterfeit credit cards. That's a federal beef."

"Oh, intuitive grasp of the obvious, Brain Boy. But Hines offered to kick me if I agreed to stool out for him."

"You know you were stung, right?"

"Stung?"

"You think they picked you at random? They entrapped your a.s.s."

"The motherf.u.c.kers," he said indignantly.

"Yeah, the motherf.u.c.kers."

"d.a.m.n, that'd never've held up in court!"

"Hines never intended it to get that far. What happened next?"

"I was drowning, Radar. He threw me a rope. What could I do but grab it?"

"So what'd they have you do?"

"At first nothing. Just check in every now and then and, you know, shout if something sketchy was going down."

"And who all did you rat out?"

"n.o.body!" protested Vic. I barely rolled my eyes. "Okay, one or two guys. Clumsy mooks they'd have caught anyway."

"Plus me."

"You they knew about. But they were psyched to know more. How you operate, what snukes you liked to play. They said they were gonna offer you a job. Honest to G.o.d, Radar, I thought I was hooking you up."

"Yeah, Merry Christmas."

"I'm really sorry I put you on their map."

"You still don't get it, do you, Vic?" He gave me this blank look like Get what? Get what? "I was on their map all along. You were just their GPS." "I was on their map all along. You were just their GPS."

Vic mulled this. "Oh," he said at last.

"Though it would've been better if you'd given me the high sign when you saw Hines in the Java Man that day."

"Oh, yeah, that. My bad."

"Yeah, your bad. How did Allie fit in?"

"f.u.c.kin' Allie," muttered Vic.

"What do you mean?"

"She had in mind that the more I warned you against her, the more tied up in her you'd get. Ridiculous, right?"

Right. Ridiculous.

"She was like my acting coach and s.h.i.t. Very heavy. Very serious pain in the a.s.s." Vic's face brightened. "But I did a good job, though, didn't I? Really had you convinced she was stinky cheese."

"Yeah, thanks for that." This raised a question I didn't think Vic could answer, but I asked it just the same, for sometimes he had an idiot savant's knack for clarity. "Is she in on it?"

"Duh, of course she is."

"No, I mean as a cherry top. Or is she just pimped in like us?"

"Wow, that's a good question." Vic mused for a moment. "You know, the truth is, I've never smelled cop on her."

"Yeah, me neither. Doesn't mean it's not there. Maybe she just cleans up nice."

"There is one thing ..."

"What's that?"

"Early in October, before you two met, she was pumping me for all your 411 and this was, like, the middle of the afternoon, but she could barely stay awake. I asked her what's the matter. She said jet lag."

"Jet lag? Really?"

"Uh-huh. And right now I'm thinking Australia."

"You know what, Vic? So am I."

"You think she went there hunting Yuan?"

"Hunting? I don't know." Back in Allie's apartment-or safe house-when I'd guessed that she and Yuan had dated, Hines as much as admitted I was right and Allie didn't say no. Granted, she might have gone to Australia "in hot pursuit" and whatnot, but Mirplo was right: she didn't smell cop. Which maybe put her on Yuan's side of the street. Maybe her business was more partnership than pleasure.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. A whole big stack of maybe just waiting for syrup and jam. Another question crossed my mind. "What was Allie doing at the car show last year? Was that coincidence, or was she already scouting me out?"

Vic just shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "You could ask her friend."

"Friend?"

"The Asian honey she was with that day. I chatted her up. Her name was ..." he mused for a moment. "Kyoko Kaneko."

"You remember that?"

"I told you, man, I have a p.o.r.nographic memory."

"I wonder if we can track her down." I grabbed my laptop and popped it open-then popped it right back closed. As it had been in fibbie hands, I had no reason to believe it wasn't completely compromised, with a buried keystroke worm to track every move I made. "We need a public terminal," I said. "What's open this time of night?"

Half an hour later, we were in a cyber cafe called Sunset Jackson, where, amid the Second Lifers, overseas Skypers and intellectual homeless, we searched for Kyoko Kaneko. The usual channels bore no fruit, nor did some of my more esoteric approaches-though I was reluctant to track too close to certain government databases for fear that Hines had stationed lookout bots, which I know sounds pretty farfetched, but by this point I was putting nothing past anyone. After endless permutations, combinations, alternate spellings, and graba.s.s guesses, I asked Vic if he was sure he had the name right. You'd think I had called his mother ugly or something. The offended dignity of a Mirplo notwithstanding, I was starting to think I was digging a hole in the wrong place, when suddenly I had a thought.

"Vic," I asked, "do you suppose this chick's an FOB?"

"FOB?"

"Fresh off the boat. First-generation American."

"Could be," said Vic. "Her English wasn't too good."

"As evidenced by the fact that she suffered a conversation with you." Weirdly, this insult pleased Vic. He seemed to take it as a measure of apology accepted, and I honestly couldn't say he was wrong. It's hard to stay mad at a Mirplo. "Okay, let's try a different approach."

I pried open an INS database and got a hit on the first try: There was a Kyoko Kaneko with a student visa that let her attend film school at UCLA, and an address in an area that the real estate agents like to call "Beverly Hills adjacent," but really it's just L.A. I jotted down the address on the back of Hines's bank routing slip, the irony of which was not lost on me.

We still had a few minutes' credit left, and Vic wanted to surf p.o.r.n. I looked over my shoulder, where an African woman with toddler in arms was on a headset talking to, I guess, her husband back home. "Yeah, let's not," I said. Before Vic could protest, I had cleared my cache, closed the browser and logged off. Actually, the woman put me in mind of a phrase I'd heard long ago: luxury crisis. So much of what we go through around here, so many of the things that make us feel sorry for ourselves, are the artifacts of prosperity-say your BMW breaks down. Almost every mess you find yourself in would be an enviable mess to, say, the twelve-year-old st.i.tcher of your Honduran camisa camisa. It was something to think about-but later. Right now, my mess was my mess, and I'd do well to stick to the matter at hand.

Vic and I walked outside and stood together on the street. "Vic," I said, "you know I can't give you that gun back."

He nodded, and said solemnly, "Trust can't be granted. Earned it must be."

"What are you, now, f.u.c.king Yoda?"

We shared a laugh, and something lifted off me. Every since Allie Quinn had come into my life, I'd felt like a resistance fighter stranded alone behind enemy lines. Now at least I wasn't alone. A Mirplo's not much of an ally, but he's better than a sharp stick in the eye, which is a useful way to measure many things.

"I'm supposed to see Hines in the morning," said Vic. "What'll I tell him?"

"Tell him you lost it."

Vic pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Yeah," he said, "that sounds like something I'd do."

He started away. "Vic," I said, and he turned back. "I don't need to tell you what's at stake here."

"Nah, the gun sort of spelled that out."

"We're in this together now. If either of us f.u.c.ks up, we're both going down."

He mused for a moment. "Then try not to f.u.c.k up," he said, and sloped off into the night.

don't be cool.

I went home and went to bed. Later, I had a dream. I was driving a 1959 Cadillac convertible across the Mojave Desert. Elvis Presley sat in the pa.s.senger seat, singing incorrect lyrics to his own songs. "Don't be cool," he crooned softly, "to a heartless Jew." went home and went to bed. Later, I had a dream. I was driving a 1959 Cadillac convertible across the Mojave Desert. Elvis Presley sat in the pa.s.senger seat, singing incorrect lyrics to his own songs. "Don't be cool," he crooned softly, "to a heartless Jew."

The car was gorgeous, the color of smoke, with fins that stretched to the heavens. The air suspension made the ride so smooth I thought I was flying. Then I glanced down (through, oddly, gla.s.s bottom floorboards) and realized that I was was flying, flashing along a hundred feet off the desert floor. The King reached over and gave me a rea.s.suring pat on the knee. "The rules don't confine," he growled gently, "they define. True genius works within form." flying, flashing along a hundred feet off the desert floor. The King reached over and gave me a rea.s.suring pat on the knee. "The rules don't confine," he growled gently, "they define. True genius works within form."

Before I could huh huh a huh, I was back in my bedroom, buried nose-down in a pillow that still smelled like Allie, which was strange, because I'd for certain changed the sheets. Then I realized that the thing that smelled like Allie a huh, I was back in my bedroom, buried nose-down in a pillow that still smelled like Allie, which was strange, because I'd for certain changed the sheets. Then I realized that the thing that smelled like Allie was was Allie, lying beside me in bed, propped up on one elbow, and watching me with eyes as big as a Walter Keane kitten's. Allie, lying beside me in bed, propped up on one elbow, and watching me with eyes as big as a Walter Keane kitten's.

"How'd you get in?" I asked. "I know I locked the door."

"Silly," she said. "I told you, I teleport."

"What else do you do?"

"Thought you'd never ask." She yanked back the covers and dove on my gear like a diabetic diving on a Dove bar.

This, alas, was a dream as well.

When I woke for real, I got my day moving fast. I wanted to be out of the house ahead of any unwelcome visitors. Climbing behind the wheel of my vintage Volvo, I headed west on Beverly Boulevard, and within half an hour was in Kyoko Kaneka's neighborhood. I parked down the street from her red adobe four-plex. Outfitting myself with some props from my trunk, including a clipboard, tie and jacket, zero-lens gla.s.ses, and sundry identifying doc.u.ments, I walked to her address and rapped on the door.

A shadow pa.s.sed over the peep hole, and I knew she was checking me out. "Who is it?" a lilting voice asked.

"My name is Taft Hartley, ma'am" I said, in a civil servant's neutral tones. "I'm with the county health department."

"The landlord handles the-"

"Ma'am, it's not that kind of issue. I'm looking for ..." I flipped through some blank pages on the clipboard, then made eye contact with the peep hole. "... an Allison Quinn."

"You mean Allie?"

"I suppose so, ma'am. It's very important that I talk to her. Her health may be at risk."

"Why are you looking here? She doesn't live here." Interesting: I could almost hear an anymore anymore in her voice. in her voice.

"I see." I sounded weary, disappointed. "Ma'am, could I come in, please? I need to ask you some questions."

"Can I see some ID?" I held up my credentials. Why people think a piece of paper makes you something you aren't, I'll never understand. After a moment, the door opened, and a barefoot j.a.panese girl let me into her immaculate apartment. I didn't really recognize her from the car show, and a.s.sumed that she wouldn't remember me, either. Apart from the getup I wore, just think of the thousands of people you meet whose faces never register. Unless you're a freak like Mirplo.

She told me her name. I repeated it, stumbling expressively over the p.r.o.nunciation. Then I said, "Allison Quinn, ma'am-"

"Would you stop calling me ma'am, please? I'm no older than you." Her English wasn't as bad as Mirplo's p.o.r.nographic memory made it out to be, but it sounded studied, like she'd been working hard to Americanize her persona. I'm just wondering: Is there not a little grifter in all of us?

"Sorry," I said with a shrug. "It's how they train us." Once again I referred to my phantom notes. "Anyway, she listed you as a character reference on an application to teach in the L.A. schools." At that, Kyoko broke into a high giggle, her eyes shining. "Is something funny?" I asked.

"Allie teaching school. Tell the children to guard their lunch money."

I looked at her blankly, then pushed on. "She took a tuberculosis test. It's just routine, part of the application process, but it came back positive. We need to retest her, treat her if necessary, see if we can figure out where she got it. Do you know if she's been out of the country recently? Say in the past year or so?"

"She was always coming and going somewhere. She said she had international business. Truthfully, I think she was a hooker."